Start with this Question
Sometimes, the hardest question isn’t what’s next — it’s knowing what you really want. Maybe you’re not enjoying your role anymore, counting down the days to your next holiday but unsure what else you want to do. Or perhaps you’ve tried for a promotion and didn’t get it, which has left you feeling demotivated. If this sounds familiar, this blog from Threshold facilitator Jo Wood could be exactly what you need right now.
What do you want?
At Thresholds, we often ask people a simple question to help them get more clarity around their careers: What do you want?
And yet, simple doesn’t mean easy.
For many of us, the question feels deceptively difficult. And sitting with it can feel surprisingly hard.
Many of us have spent years making decisions based on what’s practical, realistic, expected, or encouraged by others. We follow the promotions, the sensible next steps, the roles that make use of our skills. But somewhere along the way, we can lose sight of what actually drives us. What excites us. What feels like ours. When we finally stop to think about what we want, the answer isn’t always clear.
This was definitely true for me.
What do I really want?
For years, I moved from role to role, guided more by external expectations than by any real sense of direction. Well-intentioned colleagues suggested opportunities, and I followed the logical next step — whether that was a role that “suited my skills” or a promotion that seemed like the right move. But if you’d asked me what I actually enjoyed or got a sense of fulfilment out of - not just competent at — I wouldn’t have known where to begin.
And from what I’ve seen, through my work at Thresholds, many women are in the same position. Even when they stop to ask themselves that question, the answers don’t always come easily. It’s understandable that, faced with this uncertainty, it’s tempting to avoid the question altogether—keeping busy but never quite finding what you truly want, or feeling stuck where you are.
Paying Attention to the Right Clues
So how did I begin to move past that uncertainty and start finding clarity? The change didn’t come all at once—it started with something small and manageable.
At the end of each week, I gave myself some time to reflect:
- What had I enjoyed?
- What had I been good at?
- When had I felt completely in flow, fully absorbed in what I was doing?
At first, I often found it hard to identify things I genuinely enjoyed — sometimes, there simply wasn’t much about my work that excited me. That honesty was important because it helped me recognise the gap between going through the motions and truly engaging with my work. Still, there were small glimmers—like the mentoring I was doing outside my day-to-day role—that hinted at what might really matter to me.
When thinking about what I’d been good at, I tried to look beyond just completing tasks or being competent. I asked myself: Did I feel confident or engaged? Did I notice others responding positively? Was I able to bring a unique strength or perspective? This helped me move from ticking boxes to understanding where my natural skills and interests actually lie.
By reflecting consistently, even on weeks when enjoyment was scarce, patterns gradually emerged. I became more aware of the moments and tasks that energised me and those that drained me — and that awareness became a foundation for clearer choices.
This reflective approach and conscious choice making is something we explore on the Crossing Thresholds programme, and it’s often where the real breakthroughs happen.
Reconnect with Your Values and Motivations
What makes you tick? Why do you do the things that you do?
Often, in our day-to-day lives, we lose touch with what really matters to us. And when we’re out of step with our values, it can leave us feeling stuck, frustrated, or even resentful.
But when you take the time to reconnect with your values, everything starts to shift. Decisions feel easier. Priorities become clearer. You get a better sense of whether the path you’re on is actually right for you. When your choices reflect what you care about, you tend to feel more energised and more confident – and this applies to your choice of career too.
If you’d like some guidance, I recently wrote blog on clarifying values and motivation that can help you get started.
Go Beyond ‘Making a Difference’
Some of the most common things I hear when people talk about their career goals are, “I want to make a difference” or “I want to add value” and “I want to help people.”
But don’t most of us want to make a difference or help someone, in some way?
The real power comes from being more specific. Who do you want to help? In what way?
Are you drawn to mentoring others? Solving complex problems? Driving change in a particular industry? What causes or challenges genuinely interest you?
A sense of value doesn’t just come from helping — it comes from connecting your strengths and skills to something that feels meaningful to you.
So instead of stopping at “I want to make a difference,” try asking:
- Who do I want to make a difference to? And how?
If the Answer Isn’t Clear Yet
When I first started asking myself these questions, I didn’t know the answers straight away. But clarity will come — take the time to notice what lights you up and give yourself the space to reflect on it. Then start to make some conscious choices.
So, if you’ve been wondering what’s next, or what you really want then why not take 15 minutes at the end of this week to sit and reflect, maybe journal a bit too and see what you notice. You might be surprised by what comes up.
As for me…
I eventually recognised the importance of independence and creativity. I left my role in the civil service, became an entrepreneur, got involved in challenging projects, supported women’s equality, worked exclusively online, and moved to Bali. I’ve never been happier. But whether the changes you make are big or small, the important thing is connecting with what you truly want — and the answer is different for each of us.
Further Support
And if you’d like a bit more structure and support, we’re running a one-day career planning workshop at the start of July. It’s a space to think, reflect, and map out your next steps — wherever you are in your career. You’ll find more details here.
About the Author
Jo Wood is a Thresholds Facilitator and Public Speaking Coach. She has a passion for supporting women to improve their confidence, overcome public speaking nerves and achieve their goals.
Find out more at www.epiphanycoaching.co.uk or LinkedIn.
